this is not about you

I hear gunshots outside
They sound like fireworks
Harassed by multiple guys
But I don’t even twerk
And I don’t even dress less
But I still think I’m fly
My life is sort of a mess
So much that I stopped asking why
And I know you’re there
I’m thankful, that I’m sure
But my mind keeps asking where
Where oh where did my heart go to?
My feet move but I lose control
And my limbs sort of collapse
My veins they start to unfold
And my emotions begin to relapse
I’m sorry, I say, a million times
This is who I am for right now
I’m honest but you think that’s a lie
I try to prove it but I don’t know how
I don’t really get it anymore
You never even really call
And it makes my lil heart a lil sore
All I can say is folks, that’s all
Cos you left about a month ago
I saw you turn your back
Will I see you again I don’t know
Let me just start my next 6 pack.

151

Accidentally sat at an alcohol bar thinking it was a coffee bar and the waitress immediately offered me a beer. ✋ NO, NO. 151 days sober, thank you very much.