He Said, She Said

He say he hate me, I know he don’t
He’s just afraid to admit it, so he won’t
And he say he honest, and can’t nobody fool him
But look at his real friends, the list is fast and slim
I ain’t gonna take you 80 miles toward a wall
Only to let you go and never call
And I knew he was lyin I just told myself I was trippin
A girl’s somehow gotta mask the way she livin
Ain’t it true tho, he’ll tell her what she wanna hear
If he say he different and not a playa he’s in the clear
And he makes her drunk so he’s gotta steer
And he tells too many lies like she had too many beers
Drunk in love for a little bit, ain’t that the typical shit
Give it about 5 days till he gets it and calls it quits
He say he love me, yeah I know he do
And I love him, I just hate him too.

When you don’t look the part
But your mind’s just right
And they try to dumb down your heart
Will you still put up a fight?
Will you tell them what they need to hear?
And show them what they need to see?
Will you still love yourself, my dear?
And let yourself be who you were meant to be?

Bout To Be Dope

LA, I miss you, your city lights
They always bring me a smile
I’ll return I’m sure, in due time
Actually, it might be a while
But I promise you will see me again
I have too much left to do
I have left too many of my friends
A whole family, this is true
But now I am off to the islands
For a time filled with much
I still sit in loud silence
In angst, joy, and such
Anyways, I will be back
In a year, I sure do hope
Now I am off with my cello and sack
This new adventure is about to be dope.

Forever Mine

Fresh papaya and black iced coffee
An early sunrise at 6 am
Time to put on my flippy floppies
And walk to the shore for a morning swim
The palm trees sway in perfect rhythm
And the birds chirp sweet melodies
Waiting for the waves, here they come
The ocean is my main remedy
I sit in the sand, all in my feet
The warmth is what I’ve been waiting for
My journey is never ever complete
Until I lay my body on the North Shore
My sun kissed skin is quickly returning
I’m happy to be home, it was time
This is what my heart has been for yearning
Maui, you are forever mine.

this is not about you

I hear gunshots outside
They sound like fireworks
Harassed by multiple guys
But I don’t even twerk
And I don’t even dress less
But I still think I’m fly
My life is sort of a mess
So much that I stopped asking why
And I know you’re there
I’m thankful, that I’m sure
But my mind keeps asking where
Where oh where did my heart go to?
My feet move but I lose control
And my limbs sort of collapse
My veins they start to unfold
And my emotions begin to relapse
I’m sorry, I say, a million times
This is who I am for right now
I’m honest but you think that’s a lie
I try to prove it but I don’t know how
I don’t really get it anymore
You never even really call
And it makes my lil heart a lil sore
All I can say is folks, that’s all
Cos you left about a month ago
I saw you turn your back
Will I see you again I don’t know
Let me just start my next 6 pack.

Bygones

Blank stares into blank walls
All cares thrown into waterfalls
Feelings running a mile a minute
Heart nowhere near but mind all in it
Crushed beneath the rubble of the truth
Sinking back into old ways just to soothe
Catered by the man with unlimited service
Instantly throwing the history into a furnace
Packed up the bags, threw em in my car
Trying to find a place farther than far
But I end up here in a home with blank walls
With no fridge, no couch, and no phone calls
And I am hit with a reality I know all too well
Maybe I would have recognized the first knock if it was a ring of the doorbell.

stage 4

They say heartbreak bleeds through mom’s eyes
And dad is simply disappearing
I say, my, how time sure does fly
I guess living is the last thing we should be fearing.  

City of Angels

Take me to the streets where I first met eyes
With the woman with red Beats and thick thighs
Where the smokers crowd and skaters skate
Where the music is loud and haters hate
Take me to the alley where hippies meet
Back, back to Cali in the 90 degree heat
Where high chucks are tight and hipsters a plenty
And don’t give any fucks, on the corners sippin Hennessey
Take me to where the palm trees sway
Where half of summer is in the month of May
Where you walk down boulevards and see cosplay
Where they say shit like bourgie and cray
Take me to the bar with 2 dollar shots
With pool tables and Vegas lottery slots
Where girls get paid for the way they dress
Where you can catch a fade with no mess
Take me to the town I once loved
To the city I constantly still dream of
Where I lost my soul a year ago today
To the city of angels, or so they say.

Liquor

My mind has been elsewhere
In a pool full of muck
‘tween a world with too many cares
And not really giving a fuck
And they say it’ll be alright
Though the road is really rough
Do you really know what it’s like, tho?
Cos by now, I’ve had enough.

Ribbons

It depends on me
Whether I’d like to be free
If I want to begin to see
If I’d like to be
All that you’ve wanted for me
It all depends on me
Taking a step
And beginning to believe
You are my lead
And you are my guide
Taking a step
Knowing you are by my side
And though I walk through the valley
In the meadows of the dark
And though my feet may fail
You are the way
I need believe and only trust
And it all depends on me
And may i see when I am blind
And hear when I am lost
May I seek when I lose trust
For I will find you, time after time

And I see you’re getting ready to walk out of my life, isn’t that great?
I guess we both knew this day would come, it must be fate.

Behold

Imprisoned in walls that only I know
Placid and lonely with high highs and low lows
Crystal clear skies and immaculate rain
Watercolor masks to cover the pain

Novacane

And here we are
On the day we knew would come
Though it seemed so far
There’s never been a better time to be a bum
I suppose it is life, though
Just another season to live
Through the pain and the strife
Love is the only thing to give
I’ll play these strings with hope
And sing these words with joy
And I have new ways to cope
Not with alcohol, not with a boy
It is with a new freedom, yes
A new mindset I’ve acquired
Not one that gets me into a mess
Not even one that leaves me wired
But today has arrived, my dear
It is the beginning to something new
Not that the past is completely clear
Just know that it is through
Oh, lord, is it through

The Girl Who Stares

A pocket, I left her in a pocket
In a hole drowned in thread
An outlet with no socket

Her idiosyncrasies were dead
Stolen from her precious locket
She wasn’t easily read
But no one could ever drop it
It never mattered what she said
If she was loud or if she was quiet
If she was kind or in a riot
If she was honest or lying
If she was alive or dying
They would still call her names
And for everything, still blamed
And for herself, ashamed
 
So I left her in a pocket
Never to be found
Hidden away in the depths
From the light and the sound
Far away is where I left
The beauty I once knew
A hole held by some thread
Another gem lost in the ocean blue

Temp(t)

And there it went
The loneliness I had felt
Time well spent
And shit, dealt
Funny how that happens
Closeness with another
It makes you tap in
To your mind and all its colors
To your heart and all its frequencies
To your thoughts and all its tendencies
To your body and all its indecencies
See what I did there?